Personal Record (maybe even WORLD record)

Marilee and I went to a theater Saturday to see Why We Fight (a great movie by the way). We took the bus/subway so that we could get a feel for the system before we have guests stay with us that may need to use it. After paying and arm and a leg for movie tickets, we decided we really wanted popcorn and soda, so we bought the largest size of each so we could get free refills.

After draining the entire 5 gallon bucket of soda during the movie, on principle I still had to get a refill on the way out the door. I found that I already had to pee pretty bad when we got on the subway, so in an act of moderation I threw away the pop with a few drinks still lingering at the bottom of the cup. By the time we got off the subway I was already feeling a pee emergency, but we had to rush out of the station to see what time the bus came. It turned out that we had another 20 minutes to wait, so I went back into the station to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I found that I would have to pay another subway fare to get back in to use the bathroom, so I decided to wait it out.

On the bus ride home, It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming in pain from trying to hold back. The ride took about 20 minutes, so I was literally about to explode upon getting off, and we still had half a mile to walk. Bravely, I staggerred toward home. Halfway home, however, I decided that it was physically impossible for me to hold it any longer, and so I shuffled my way off the main road onto a dead end side street. Just as I was about to unzip and let it all out on someones bush, a man appeared on the opposite side of the road. My plans foiled, I rushed back to the road and started shuffle hopping as fast as I could towards the house.

By the time I got home my stomach was cramping and I knew this pee would be a record-breaker. So as I made my way to the bathroom I brought out my watch for timing the upcoming event.

SO here's the breakdown. Seriously, no exagerrations here. I peed for 1 minute and 15 seconds. Then my stomach cramped up and stopped the flow for about a minute. Then I peed for another 30 seconds.

If anyone can beat that, let me know.